THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE
walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
I love The Sims because it’s basically just a bunch of pansexual people speaking gibberish and setting their houses on fire.
The pansexual agenda.
"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager
"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is
do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person as your friend? and just think about how fucking blessed you are for their existence and how in some previous life you must have done something fucking amazing to deserve them in this life? DO YOU?
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish
i’ve never read something so accurate
come on and slam