highbrowandbeard:

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE

May the force be ever in your favor, Harry.
Gandalf (The Chronicles of Narnia)

colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

image

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

princessstiel:

subculturalqueer:

I love The Sims because it’s basically just a bunch of pansexual people speaking gibberish and setting their houses on fire.

The pansexual agenda.

queermarcobodt:

"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager 

"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is

nowyoukno:

More facts at NowYouKno.com and don’t forget to Follow NowYouKno for more like this on your dash

bloodysigils:

do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person as your friend? and just think about how fucking blessed you are for their existence and how in some previous life you must have done something fucking amazing to deserve them in this life? DO YOU?

opentheairforfreshwindows:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

paradacsa-an:

jaceheromdale:

it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish

i’ve never read something so accurate

spookbeast:

come on and slam









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